Author: Giridhari Das

Getting your book published is a step-by-step process. Yes, there are pitfalls, but basically, if you have enough brains to write a book, you can do it. But selling your book, in order words, having anyone actually read it, that’s the really tricky part.

In my earlier blog post, I laid out the step-by-step process I used to get my book published. Worthy of note is the fact that I’m a Brazilian citizen, living in Brazil, which added another layer of complication, but with the help of the folks I mention there, everything happened very smoothly.

Figures vary, but estimates are that some 4000 books get published every day in English. Think about that. Your book is going to be another drop in that vast ocean of books published. Getting noticed, you can see, is no easy feat.

In Brazil, I already have a nice following. I’ve been publishing books here for over 10 years. I have thousands of followers. My YouTube channel for Portuguese speakers just hit 1 million views, with over 1000 new subscribers every month. When I published my “3T Path” book here, in Portuguese, all I had to do was post it on Facebook and send out emails. I do a lecture and dozens of books get sold. Here in my Yoga Resort, the book is always selling. Smooth and stress-free.

In October of 2016, I decided to expand my work to the English-speaking world. Starting with zero. Nada. From scratch. I set up this website, Instagram account, YouTube channel, Twitter and Facebook page. And I started doing my stuff, in English. Videos, blog posts and quotes for Instagram. And I wrote the book “The 3T Path” for those interested in really changing their lives with what I had to offer.

I thus knew that publishing my book in English, if I did nothing more, would result in practically no sales, since I didn’t have a US or UK base yet. I figured I would literally sell 2 or 3 books a month for a good time to come.

So, going against my wife’s suggestion, I sought out professional support to prime the pump. I started looking around for book marketing professionals. In the end, I hired Penny Sansevieri and her Author Marketing Experts (AME) company.

Penny looked like the real deal. She’s been around enough and she sells lots of books on the topic of selling books, including one called, “How To Sell Books by the Truckload on Amazon”. Great, I thought! That’s what I want to do! So, I contacted her.

We had a very nice first contact. Both by email and by phone I made it clear that I had zero presence in the US or UK so that I didn’t have any fan base to draw upon to sell books in English. I told her on the phone that I didn’t mind making zero profit. I just didn’t want to lose money.

She offered me a package of services, and I even opted for the extra stuff. It came out to a couple of thousand dollars per month, for 3 months straight.

If I had to sum up Penny’s work it would be: “the surgery was a success but the patient died”. Her staff make a really nice looking list of things they tried to do, blogs and media they contacted, this and that strategy, doing a Goodreads giveaway, getting reviews, etc. What actually came through was a tiny fraction of what they supposedly tried to do. And what resulted from that tiny fraction, was pretty much zero sales.

Call me nuts, but I believe that marketing investment has to bring you at least that amount back. Since getting my message out is more important to me than money, I’m not worried about making a profit. But, since I don’t have a trust fund and since I never ask for donations from my students, I also can’t just throw money away.

The lady sells a book titled “how to sell truckloads of books”, but her and her staff, working for 3 months, couldn’t even sell a satchel full of books. Ouch! Biggest case of buyer’s remorse in my entire life. And I’m almost 50 years old! Half a century buying things and hiring services, and Penny takes the gold medal for my biggest case of buyer’s remorse. Quite an achievement.

I don’t think I got 2%, yes, that’s right not TWO PERCENT, of my marketing investment back. In technical terms a ROI of -98%. Harsh.

Did I get great personal advice from Penny for my investment? Nope. After the first talk to seal the deal, that was it. No more Penny. When I noticed the campaign was a disaster and made a fuss, she answered my email, but basically telling me to chillax and that it was normal for there not to be results right away. Nice. Wish you told me that before I parted with my hard-earned money, Penny.

So, my conclusion is that book marketing is GREAT…. for the book marketers. Maybe not so much for the clients. Great business to be in if your aim is making a buck. Better than being an author, that’s for sure!

Sorry, I’m not going to end this post with a magic recipe for you to sell your books. From what I read, all the advice seems to point in the same direction: you just have to be known and followed. Your followers will buy your book and if they like it, others will buy it and then that becomes a “news-worthy” fact to be noted by bloggers and regular media, and then you’ll get more followers and the cycle continues. This is happening to me in Brazil, organically. To be known, they say, you have to constantly create content and participate in other people’s blog and submit articles and stories left and right. So, that’s partly what I’m doing – always and regularly creating content and slowly people are taking notice.

I was hoping, wrongly I see now, that a professional like Penny would have some shortcuts, would have contacts in the media and experienced targeted advice to help an author take a big step in that direction. It’s not what I got from Penny. Not even close.

But hey, poorer but wiser. If I help other authors avoid similar fates, then I’ll be happy in the knowledge my experience wasn’t for naught.

If you’re an author and had experience with a book marketing professional, make sure to leave your comment below!

Getting your book published looks easy, but it’s really not. I want to share here some tips on how I did it.

First step: editing

Editing is essential. Never, ever, think that you can publish your book without an editor going over it. Doesn’t matter how brilliant you may think you are. You need another set of eyes and a good brain for words to iron out your text. I hired Dr. Carl Herzig, Professor of English, St. Ambrose University. He’s BRILLIANT. He’s a wonderful person, excellent to work with and a great editor. He chopped off 10% of my original text and smoothed over the rest. This is the second time I’ve used him and I can’t see how you could do better than to use him.

Time it took: 6 weeks for the first version (my book is about 50 thousand words). Then another 4 weeks going over it and refining it.

Second step: proofreading

Once the book has been edited and the back and forth between you and the editor finalized, you need to send it off to a proofreader. This person will do a last check to make sure nothing got through. I used for this Vishnu Maya Dasi. She’s was quick and professional and spotted several mistakes. Very fair price too. If you write to me I can give you her contact.

Time it took: 2 weeks.

Third step: layout and cover

I’ve been publishing in Brazil for many, many years, so I have a good relationship with a Brazilian publishing house, today called Coletivo Editorial. These days they have working with them an expert layout and cover person, Narada Muni Das. He did my layout and cover work and I really liked it. Very open, fast and willing to change and redesign that parts you don’t like.

Time it took: one month.

Fourth step: proofreading after the layout is done

Once the layout is done, you need to have it proofread again. This person will make sure all the chapter headings are there, no bits of the book were cut off, the numbering is in order and, plus, catch any mistakes left by the editor and the proofreader. For this, I was lucky to have as a friend, Robson Silva, who’s just amazing. He’s like the Terminator of mistake-finding in his precision and attention for detail. He not only proofread the copy for print, but also the ebook files later on.

Time it took: 2 weeks.

Fith step: ebook formatting and publishing

Once you have the InDesign files for your book and the high-res PDF files for your cover, you’re ready to get published. But, man, not so easy! In Brazil, my publishers take care of everything, but for publishing my book in English, I was on my own. I opted for the self-publishing route, because it gives you so much freedom. The book is yours. And you can do with it as you wish. Being in the hand of a publishing house that’ll just sit on your book and maybe never reprint it, is not attractive to me. Unless you’re a hotshot author (and thus not reading this blog post) you probably will not get a publishing deal, nor should you really try for it. Self-publishing is here to stay.

But self-publishing for the first time is a bit daunting. The devil is in the details. And there are a lot of them. So, I decided to get professional help. I hired the services of David Wogahn, of www.davidwogahn.com. He not only does a first-rate job of producing the ebook version of your book, but he handles everything to get your book published professionally. All the nitty-gritty details.  I really liked having his help. It was a real relief. He writes: “The one thing I’ll say is that it is easy to look at self-publishing as something anyone with technology skills can do. In my experience it begins this way, but much of what clients get out of their relationship with me is experience and wisdom.” I liked his services so much, I’m pretty sure I’ll be asking for his help for my next book, too, even though I now have experience with Amazon, Kindle, etc. He answers all your questions, sets up the accounts, guides you through the whole process and gets your book online, up for sale, properly published.

One cool thing he did for me, was to put my book in Pronoun.com. They’re really great. Excellent interface and they’ll take care of you ebook distribution brilliantly. I highly recommend them.

Time it took: 4 weeks.

I’m so grateful for the help of these people! They were great! But I must also mention my brilliant wife, Charana Renu, who helped me shape the book and did a first round of editing. She gave me great advice every step of the way.

So, that’s it for now. In my next post on book publishing I’ll write about book marketing, where, unfortunately, I was not so lucky. Click here to read it.

Here’s a scientifically-proven technique, that requires no more than 60 seconds of your time a day, that will change your life: the gratitude diary. Here we’ll see what it is, how it’s done, and why it’s so powerful.

The greatest virtue you can express is gratitude. It’s a powerful catalyst for positive change. The spirit of thankfulness blesses you with the ability to see the best of everything and as a consequence fills you with contentment and joy. It’s a powerful tool for making your life better. The power of gratitude is recognized by ancient wisdom and proved by modern science.

Melody Beattie, author of several self-help books, sums it up nicely: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

Robert Emmons, PhD, one of the foremost authorities in the study of the effects of gratitude, reports that people who practice gratitude experience benefits in many areas of their life, from mental well-being to physical health to social dealings.

And how do you cultivate gratitude? How do you harness its power? The most efficient and scientifically-tested technique is the use of the gratitude diary, also sometimes referred to as the gratitude journal.

What that entails is simply writing down, preferably once a day, as few as 5 things you’re grateful for in that day. That’s it. Ridiculous, right? It’s so simple. If you’re into the science of it, check out this long list of studies on gratitude found at the US National Library of Medicine: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3010965/.

Why does it work? It’s all about the filters you create. In this blog post, I talk about the effect of our mental filters. You don’t live life as it is, you live it as you are.

We filter reality at every moment and those filters are usually created unconsciously. It’s all too easy to drift into a more negative filter, as life brings us challenge after challenge, and the disappointments and frustrations pile up. That means we create a negative filter. A filter which looks out for negative, disappointing and frustrating things. This, in turn, means we do in fact find more of those negative things, deepening our negative sensations. This is all going on below our awareness.

With the gratitude diary, we reprogram our filters. We essentially create a new filter: positivity. We tell our brain to be on the lookout for positive experiences, for the blessings in our life. That makes our brain filter out the negative and leave an imprint of the positive. A new filter is in place. We perceive more and more the good things in our life, most of which were there all along, but we just weren’t giving them notice, preferring instead to focus on the negative. As we perceive more the good things in our life, we naturally become happier, and reinforce our positivity filter, in a virtuous circle. That’s why the gratitude diary is one of the most powerful life-hacks out there.

Here’s my video on this topic:

Check out what they are saying about my book, “The 3T Path”: “Giridhari Das’ The 3T Path expertly bridges ancient yoga traditions and contemporary Western society. Giridhari makes philosophical ideas accessible to both curious beginners and experienced practitioners and gives us clear, practical directions on how we can apply yoga practices and principles to our everyday lives.” – Dr. Carl Herzig, Professor of English, St. Ambrose University

Are you constantly worried about the opinion of others? Are you feeling unmotivated and unsatisfied? Are you lacking direction? These are symptoms of a life without purpose. Here’s a little more on this topic and what we can do about it.

When we lack purpose in life, we default to playing the social game. We live enslaved by the opinion of others in an uncomfortable and empty existence. Our lives do not bring us satisfaction as it’s not really our lives. This type of life leads easily to depression and chemical abuse.

Having a purpose in life promotes physical and psychological well-being. “[Researchers] found that people who had a weak purpose or no purpose in life were 2.4 times more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease than people who had a strong purpose in life. People with a strong purpose have been shown to live longer, to be less likely to get heart attacks and less likely to get a stroke,” says Dr. Strecher of the University of Michigan.  A life without purpose saps your energy and drives you to sickness and despair. Life becomes literally pointless. That’s no way to live. You need a purpose.

Using success markers as purposes doesn’t work. A success marker – money, a car, a house, a promotion, 100,000 followers on Instagram – is part of the fantasy paradigm, existential empty calories. It will not enthuse you for the simple reason that a success marker is not a true gain; it’s just a way to push back the goal line. Being accepted to a university, for instance – is it an end in and of itself? No – you just want a college degree so you can proceed to goal two, getting a good job. But is that it? No, you want the job so you can reach goal three: a good salary and social prestige. Is that it? Again, no. You wanted those so you could reach goal four: getting married and raising a family. Then what? Is getting married and having children the ultimate purpose of your life? That doesn’t work either. You will have a life beyond marriage, and your children will grow up. Then what? Goal five? Retirement? You get the idea. These goals are not purposes. They don’t define your essence or the meaning of your life.

A purpose is specific to your vocation, the first dharma category. If your vocation is teaching, for instance, your purpose may be “to transform the world by teaching children to discover their essence and to practice compassion.” If you’re into politics and human rights, it might be “to give a voice to the oppressed, fight inequality, and end the suffering caused by bad governance.” An entrepreneur might say, “to create something that will improve how my customers live.” These are lifelong lasting purposes. A purpose that is true to your essence will get you out of bed in the morning and fill you with enthusiasm, day after day, year after year, for the rest of your life. There is no retirement when you’ve found your purpose. It’s a joyful task, the quintessential labor of love, even with all the troubles, setbacks, and doubts you’ll experience along the way.

It’s great to find your purpose in life, but as a yogi you could go even further and ask yourself what is the ultimate purpose in life. After all, your vocation is just part of your current karma, who you are for this life only. When you die, whatever goal you have for this life will be finished. As a yogi, you could add an ultimate purpose to your life – something like “to become fully enlightened, achieve unlimited bliss, and meet God face-to-face.” Now that’s a truly spiritual and eternal purpose for the soul.

After all, if you’re going to die and everything will be destroyed in due time, what is the ultimate good of any material objective? If you cannot find a purpose that transcends not only your death but everyone’s death, which is inevitable, and even the end of the universe, you have not achieved your full potential. So it’s essential to go deep and embrace the ultimate purpose of life: self-realization, full awareness of reality, and pure love.

Having an ultimate, transcendental purpose to your life will push you forward, give meaning to your life and focus your determination, help you through dark times, and give you total clarity. You’ll know how to establish your priorities, what is useful and what is not, and what success really is.

In my book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/) I explain in detail the concept of dharma, which means finding meaning in everything you do, aligning every moment of your day to your essence, to living your true nature.

Check out my video on this topic here.

 

Check out what they are saying about my book, “The 3T Path”: “A life saver!” – Ivan Llobet

Are you always getting angry? If you are, do you get angry because you want to punish others for their mistakes? Are you feeling an overwhelming sense of justice and feel it’s up to you to make the world a better place by correcting the wrongs of others? Maybe it’s time to reconsider your role and tactics for a better life and a better world.

Next time you get angry, take a beat and reflect on what’s behind it. Are you getting angry because the world is unfair? Does someone need to be corrected? Somebody didn’t behave as you think “they should”?

Road rage is a great example. You get cut off in traffic, but why did you get angry? Was it the act itself? Just having to slow down ever so slightly, or swerve to avoid getting too close? Probably not. Driving is all about adjusting speed and position of the car. So, what really made you angry? The injustice of it! The “crime” committed by the driver, which you, in milliseconds, have judged as being a menace to other drivers, incompetent and irresponsible. And in a flash, your amygdala takes over, your cortex is shut off. You’re no longer in control. You’re no longer a sane human being. You’re now a beast sent to punish the offender. You gesticulate, yell and, in some cases, get physical about it. You basically make a fool of yourself, put yourself and others in danger and achieve little of use.

The same goes for a misbehaving boss, someone taking your parking spot or your child being unruly. It’s not the act itself. It’s the need to correct the world. It’s a cry for justice!

Anger, however, is never the solution. When you’re angry, you’re stupid. It’s you at your worse operating conditions. It’s bestial and the results can be downright catastrophic.  Even if it really does befall upon you to correct the deviant behavior, doing it with anger is never the way to do it. Even those whose profession involves violence and punishment, such as soldiers, judges, martial artists and police officers cannot act with anger. Even if it’s your job to knock someone senseless or kill them, this must be done with a cool head, in full control of your senses.

There are laws, there are cops, courtrooms, internal rules in companies, schools, clubs, gyms, etc. There are people whose job it is to correct, reprimand and educate the waywardly. Let them take care of it. And, anyway, there is the law of karma (https://3tpath.com/teachings/what-is-the-law-of-karma/) and God. It’s pretty much covered. There really is no need for you to act as judge, jury and punisher in the streets, parking lots, office or at home.

So, work on that sense of justice. Don’t try to curtail the anger that results from it, because it’ll be too late by the time it flares up.  Instead, cut that source of anger at the root. Redirect your sense of justice, from useless flashes of anger, to intelligent action. Justice is needed. Justice is divine. But so is mercy, peace and kindness. Make your home a better place with education and patience. Make the office a better place with cooperation and mutual friendship. Make the world a better place by, first, being the best person you can be, secondly, seeing how to influence the political scene and nudge it towards greater fairness, equality and opportunity. There is so much you can do. And getting angry will only make the world a worse place, and your life more miserable.

In my book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), I explain in more detail the neuroscience of anger, how destructive it is, and how you can learn to quell its rise before you lose control of yourself.

Check out my video on this topic here:

 

Check out what people are saying about my book, “The 3T Path”: “Amazing book and life changing, full of good advice and philosophical timeless wisdom! I highly recommend it!” – Radha Krishna

Strange as it may seem, being too hard on yourself has been scientifically proven to be counterproductive. Understand here why this happens and how you should react to your failures.

When acquiring new habits or when trying to be a better person, if you’re reacting too harshly to your shortcomings, you’ll fail. This has to do with a curious but unavoidable fact of how our brains are wired.

When we feel threatened, we naturally seek shelter. It so happens that when you are harsh to yourself, the brain interprets that just as if something or someone else is threatening us. It just shows how powerful are thoughts are. We can scare ourselves, hurt ourselves and also, equally, nurture and please ourselves – just with our thoughts. And with these thoughts will come physiological and neurological reactions.

The reaction to being attacked is to seek our comfort zone. And our comfort zone is where we are now, doing what we’re doing now. In other words, it’s certainly not the new improved version of us we’re trying to build, not the new habit we’re trying to make. As a result, we are less likely to change after harsh criticism.

Kelly McGonigal describes studies where this was confirmed. During the research, women trying to diet who were given self-forgiveness messages ate half as much candy as the women who were not given this message. The same applied to studies with people trying to overcome smoking, gambling and procrastination. Dr. McGonigal concludes that guilt and stress are an enemy of self-control, thus counter-productive for transformation.

Instead of being too hard on yourself, be kind. The simplest and best way to do this is to pretend you’re talking to your best friend, after he or she tells you about something they’ve slipped up on. For example, imagine you have a friend who is trying to meditate every day, just like you do. And he or she tells you that yesterday they failed to do so, or that they did, but their minds were super distracted. How would you react? With harsh criticism, shame and guilt trips? I hope not! You’d probably say something like, “hey, no big deal, what’s important is that you’re trying. You’ll get it. Just try again tomorrow”. Or, “yeah, that happens, we’re not perfect”. Right?

It turns out that’s how you should treat yourself. The term used is “self-forgiveness”. By being kind to yourself, you expand your comfort zone, you feel safe and encouraged to grow and transform. It’s a win-win. You feel good and you progress. Nice, huh?

In my book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), I explain many wonderful new habits and techniques you can introduce in your life to massively increase your well-being.

Check out my video on this topic here.

 

Check out my people are saying about my 3T Path book: “I loved the book… it helped me a lot.” – Rosana Ramos

It’s become popular to speak about listening to your heart and being true to your feelings. But what about reason? What are the dangers of listening to your heart, following your feelings, without thinking things through?

Sure, feelings are super important. It’s what you’re experiencing and it points to who you are. Things do indeed need to be done in harmony with what you’re feeling, with love and aligned with your values. Of this, there is no doubt. But there is one crucial problem with regards to feelings and following your heart.

Every sentiment is a result of who you are now. It’s based on the filters you have acquired, practically all of which unconsciously. It’s based on the mental map of reality you have today. And both your filters and your mental map can be wrong.

Here’s a rough example: what are the feelings and sentiments of a racist? He or she has created a mental map in which his or her race is superior to other races. This person has created filters to emphasize all the bad qualities in people of other races and all that’s good in people of his or her race, confirming their racial views every step of the way. So, what does a racist feel in regard to people of other races? Negative, hateful sentiments. Is this view correct? No. It’s a mistake. It’s an error in his or her mental map, which is distorting reality. But the sentiment is certainly true to that person. It’s the expression of his or her heart, it’s in synch with his or her values. Feelings, therefore, can lead you astray, when you’re operating on wrong ideas and facts.

Now ask this same racist what 2 + 2 is. Ask an atheist, a Christian, a psychopath or a saint… the answer is always 4. Reason operates on a different system of the brain, known as the deliberative system, or slow thinking process. It’s not influenced by subtle concepts and doesn’t go through filters, when purely engaged.

The same thing happens in regard to spiritual life. We can’t simply depend on our current feelings, we can’t just “follow our heart”. We have to use our brain. That’s why in the path of yoga it’s essential to cultivate knowledge – jnana. Spiritual yoga knowledge is rational and internally consistent. It explains the workings and experiences of life in a clear manner, in a way that makes sense. Enhanced by this knowledge we can improve our mental map and correct our filters, absorbing reality more intelligently. With this, then, we can feel these truths vibrating in our hearts. Perfected knowledge leads to perfected sentiments.

God gave us a brain and a heart and we should use both. Make use of reason and feeling, both, to maximize your human potential.

In my book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), there is a whole section on jnana, where I explain what this avenue of perfection entails and the most important transcendental knowledge you need to live a better life and appreciate how rational spiritual life is.

Check out my video on this topic here.

 

Check out what they are saying about my book: “I’m loving the book. Wonderful teachings!” – Simone de Morais

Though anxiety predominates our modern life, you don’t have to live with it. Here’s an immediate, scientifically-proven technique for lowering your anxiety and an overall take on it to help you lessen or avoid it altogether.

Anxiety is the fruit of illusion, of the mind out of the here and now, fantasizing about possible futures and their consequences. Studies show that you can lower your anxiety by simply writing out what it is that is bothering you.

Anxiety arises from “pre-occupation”, that is, from wanting to engage in an activity that has not yet begun and may not even exist. When there is, say, a trip or presentation that needs to be done, even though we have done everything we can to prepare for the event, we still dwell in anxiety, thinking we might have forgotten something or how something can go wrong. At other times, we are anxiously awaiting some event, be it the arrival of someone or the result of an examination, thinking frantically about the consequences of the event, the things we will have to do if we do this or that, or simply wondering what the result will be. All of this, of course, is crazy!

It does us no good to operate this way. In fact, it only makes things worse. It ruins our well-being without bringing useful results. We just need to do our best right now. Once we do that, we gain nothing from mulling it over again and again.

One of the secrets of the 3T Path is to understand that we cannot control the results. We can only do our best. There are innumerable facts and influences in any action, not least of which is God’s will. The laws of nature, the desire and influence of countless other living entities and providence overwhelm our efforts, making it impossible to predict the results, even in controlled situations, what to speak of general dealings in life.

And if an event has not yet happened, let it happen first. Sure, plan for it. But don’t stress over it. Don’t think you need a plan for every possible eventuality. You’ll go nuts doing this. You’ve experienced this over and over again: the future very seldom turns out the way you thought it would. Futurology is a very inaccurate activity. There is very likely something much more useful for you to do right now. You have other dharmas to enact, right now, without wasting your time planning for the unknown. Bring your mind back to reality, to the here and now, and immediately you’ll feel better, more grounded and useful. Back in the flow of life. Or as I say in the 3T Path, back to the reality paradigm, away from the fantasy paradigm.

So, write out your anxiety. Get it out of our head, in front of your in black and white. The act of writing it out engages the power of reason, which helps you diffuse the negative effects of worry and fear. Writing out your anxiety literally gets it out of your head. You can seriously consider if you’ve done what you can to deal with that concern and, if the answer is yes, then you can put it aside.

In my book, “The 3T Path” (www.3tpath.com/books/), I offer several other profound mindset changes to overcome anxiety, as well as proven techniques such as mindfulness and meditation to help you greatly reduce stress and anxiety in your life.

Here’s my video on this topic.

 

Check out what they’re saying about my new book: “Amazing book and life-changing, full of good advice and philosophical timeless wisdom! I highly recommend it!” – Radha Krishna

Jen Sincero, in her book “You Are a Badass”, which was a NY Times #1 bestseller, leads her readers astray in two crucial points. Why this is important for you today is because these two serious errors are committed by most people and are at the root of our suffering and of missed spiritual opportunities.

First, the good: Jen Sincero is intelligent, funny and motivated. Her book has helped thousands of people feel better and move towards self-empowerment. So, kudos for her in this regard.

Now, the bad: Jen Sincero is a Law of Attraction high-priestess. I say priestess because LOA is pretty much like a religion – the bad kind. It converts, seeks believers, is full of dogma and in the end only the high clergy really win out, cashing in on the naivety of its followers, just like Jen Sincero has. She just published a new book, “You are a badass at making money”, to make more money out of these followers.

I explain in greater detail the danger and lies of the LOA here: https://3tpath.com/teachings/why-the-law-of-attraction-doesnt-work/. Check it out before you drink their kool aid or to understand why it doesn’t work for you.

Not to repeat everything I wrote there, I’ll just focus on the killer problem with the LOA: it’s the how, not the what. Let me explain.

Life is not about what you have. It’s about how you live it. And the worse way to live your life is by focusing on the what, especially when that is something in the future. Even if you have the business you desire, the car you wished for, the dream house you planned and six-pack abs to show off – none of this will make you happy. Things don’t make you happy. It’s what you’re doing with your things, how you’re living your life, that makes you happy or not. So much so, that in the end you could be riding the bus, living in a one-bedroom and have a “dad bod”, and still be way, way happier and more realized than the folks in the Hamptons, Saudi princes and the jet set crowd. I call this “cartoon wisdom”, because it’s so obvious even children’s cartoons have explained this over and over again.

This is not only ancient wisdom, it’s confirmed by science. And you can experience it yourself. To tell people to chase after illusions in the future is to fill them with anxiety, low self-worth, fear, envy and, generally, make them unhappy and crazy. Sadly, Jen Sincero does that throughout the book, as do all the LOA clergy. Really bad advice.

Now, the ugly: Jen Sincero thinks God is just “source-energy”. She starts the book by nicely explaining how she broke through her crude vision of life and realized there was a higher power at work. She even calls it God. But then she limits herself and directs her readers to think of it only as “source-energy”.

To consider God as just a “source-energy” for all our selfish goals is pretty much the lowest conception you can achieve and so grossly misses out on who and what God really is, that it’s almost worse than just being a plain-vanilla agnostic. I guess philosophy and critical thinking are not encouraged by LOA types – otherwise they wouldn’t fall for that stuff. But here’s philosophy 101 to tackle this claim that God is just “source-energy”: if God is the source of everything, then he or she is also the source of personality, of feelings, intelligence, relationships and love. Obviously, if we have these traits, then God has them too, to the infinite degree. To treat a person as an object is ethically reprehensible: think of slaves, nyotaimori or those scenes of emperors or pharaohs stepping on people as a ladder or sitting down on them to rest. To treat the greatest person as an object, then, to use them only for their energy, is the greatest of all failings. It blocks you from accessing the infinite beauty and loving care of the Lord and makes you miss out on the ultimate purpose of life completely.

In my book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/) you can understand in detail how you can live a wonderful life right now, regardless of your job, health or the things you own and how you can develop a much deeper, far more satisfying and more rational understanding of God.

Check out what they are saying about my book: “A great read! I absolutely enjoyed this book by Giridhari Das.” – Jengel

What to do when you’re ignored or when someone hurts your feelings? How can stop being so disturbed by other people? This can be an endless source of suffering for most people, but here’s a key practical change you can implement to finally overcome this problem.

If someone else’s behavior bothers or even hurts you emotionally, then what is that saying about you? We get so comfortable blaming others for our troubles, playing the victim card, that we seldom stop to think about what is really going on. So, let’s take a closer look.

For someone to bother you, you must have, at some point, mentalized a version of reality in which that person should have behaved in some other way. You looked to the world, saw its components, and decided, “yep, life to be good requires that person X behaves within these boundaries, or better yet, does exactly this…” and then you went on to further fantasize on just how you wanted person X to behave, perhaps lavishing you with attention, loving your ideas or just generally fulfilling your expectations.

I’ll be bold and venture a guess here: it wasn’t just about person X, was it? You probably came up with a script for just about everyone around you. Shakespeare move aside! You’re now the playwright and you’ve got a script for every actor on the stage of the world.

But lo and behold! They didn’t get a copy of your script! They’re just going about life as if it was their lot to decide what to do, without consulting you!

Seriously? Tell me this is not exactly what we tend to do. And, of course, it fails, time and time again. If your happiness depends on somebody else’s behavior you’re heading for a painful wake-up call.

Expecting people to behave a certain way is part of the fantasy paradigm, as I call it in my 3T Path. It’s the false and painful idea that happiness comes from the outside and depends on owning things, on situations and on people acting a certain way. In my book, available at www.3TPath.com, I explain in detail why this concept is such a failure and how scientific studies confirm this.

The solution is to live what I call the paradigm of reality. Bring your focus to your life, and how you’re living it. Control that which can, or at least should be, under your control – your own self. Focus your attention on how well you’re behaving, on the joy of living your nature, of being kind and, most intensely, on being spiritually connected. This focus on what scientists call intrinsic goals is what truly nurtures you and it’s the only real foundation on which to build your well-being.

If someone else’s behavior bothers you, take a deep breath, look inside and see how and why you’re living the fantasy paradigm. When and why did you sabotage yourself by attributing your happiness to somebody else’s behavior? Then with a friendly chastisement let that pain slide away and focus again on your behavior, on living your life. Take joy in being the best person you can be, the most dharmic, the most spiritual.

Check out my video on this topic.

 

Check out what people are saying about my new book: “Perfect background for all readers regardless of current knowledge level of yoga.” – Jill Baker