Author: Giridhari Das

Anger is a terribly destructive mindset. When we’re angry, we literally lose our intelligence and thus, naturally, what ensues is stupidity. The good news is that both the reason why we lose our intelligence and how we can avoid anger have been recently revealed by neuroscience. This information is very powerful, easily applicable and will be a great asset in fighting your anger.

First, let’s put aside moronic notions that anger has a positive side to it. People equate anger with energy and the power to change and fight. This is nonsense. Professional soldiers and martial artists are very aware that anger is a dangerous trap, guaranteed to make them operate with far less efficiency. So, even if you’re in the business of killing or defeating people in combat, anger is to be carefully avoided. What to speak then, for the rest of us. If you’re not happy with your government, fighting for rights, hoping for more opportunity, etc. the feeling you want to have is not anger. It’s indignation, determination and courage.  Marthin Luther King wasn’t angry, neither was Gandhi, yet they brought about huge change.

Neuroscience has identified which part of your brain does what, and knowing this can help you deal with your negative emotions. There’s a part of your brain called the cortex. It’s that big folded-over gray part on top. Your conscious thinking and planning takes place there. When you reason, you use that part of the brain.

Your brain also has two small almond-shaped parts called the amygdala, your “animal brain.” It can help to see it like that: your rational human brain and your non-rational animal brain. Many animals, including fish, have amygdalas.

Your animal brain helps you survive; it’s your “fight or flight” response. When you are in danger, your amygdala triggers this response, readying you to either fight off danger or run away from it. Actually, there is also a third automatic response: to freeze. Think of a deer facing headlights. So technically, you have a “fight, flight, or freeze” response. In terms of crude wiring, we have our amygdala to thank for fear. In some bizarre cases of damage to the amygdala, a person can become totally (and impractically) fearless.

When you feel your heart rate speed up, blood pressure rise, and adrenaline being released, that’s your amygdala in action, the animal part of your brain getting ready for combat or quick escape. It’s sensing serious danger. That’s great when there is actually serious danger, say a snake, a car rushing towards you, a vicious dog unleashed or a mugger coming towards you from a dark alley. The problem is that the amygdala fires in all-too-common situations such as a presentation to clients, a meeting with your boss, or a talk with your angry teenage daughter. You don’t need an accelerated heart rate, more adrenaline, and more blood pressure for these situations. There is no need for fighting, fleeing, or freezing. So your amygdala is often firing away at the wrong times, for the wrong reasons.

And it gets worse. Your amygdala has the power to override your cortex. You may have experienced this—responded to a threat before you even had the chance to think about it. Again, this is great when there is a life-threatening event and a split-second reaction time can be the difference between life and death. But it’s terrible when what’s triggering your amygdala are run-of-the-mill events in your workplace or home.

Anxiety and anger can get out of control. When you become irrational due to anxiety and anger, it’s your amygdala firing away and overriding your cortex. That’s why it’s useless for someone to try to reason with you when you’re under the influence of strong anger, fear, or anxiety. Your cortex has basically shut off, so they have no one to reason with. In those situations you can’t even reason with yourself. You’ve lost your inteligence.

How do you calm down an amygdala in full swing? Neuroscience shows that two things are especially effective: slow, regular breathing, and relaxing muscles.

You can and should be in full control of your faculties, with balanced heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure at all times outside of the rare event of real physical danger. Breathe and relax your muscles to consciously power down your animal brain. This is the key to overcoming many instances of anger, fear, worry, and anxiety.

Check out my video on this topic for more information.

Feeling a sense of control over your life is one our fundamental necessities. To the degree we feel we no longer have control, we give up. If there’s an area in your life where you feel things are just sliding away, getting worse or just hopeless, then you can revert that situation with the technique known as the Zorro Circle.

When we don’t feel we’re in control, we find no means to motivate ourselves, because, consciously or unconsciously we think, “what’s the point?” So, the trick is to get that feeling of control again.

This can be applied to the simplest things, such as keeping your house, room or office tidy to your effectiveness and output at work. This technique is time-tested and scientifically proven to work.

Check out my video to learn about this technique and to see why it’s called the Zorro Circle.

We often think reality just is exactly like we think it is. But it’s not. In fact, at any given time, you’re just operating on an interpretation of reality – that construction is called our mental map.

Sure, we can agree on the basics, the external observable stuff around us. But those things to matter to us so much. The deeper interpretation of what’s going on, the sensation, the mood, what’s going on in a general sense in life – in those things, our views can vary dramatically. Not only the views from one person to another, but even our own views, from one moment to another. The way we situate ourselves, the way we perceive ourselves in life, in the sense of where we stand, what we’re feeling, what the possible ways forward are – this is called our mental map.

And since this mental map is created by us, we have the power to adjust it. Our mental map can make us horribly sad and hopeless, or it can fill us with joy and enthusiasm – without any change to the physical observable facts in our life.

This is one of the key points in the 3T Path – it’s all about the mind (see my video here about this). You have more power than you can probably imagine to adjust your life experience, by adjusting your mind, your mental map of where you stand in life, and how you interpret the events in your life.

The first step is to become aware of this reality, aware that you can change your outlook on life. The second step is to see what there is of good in life by actively seeking out the positive. Our brains often get trained to see only the negative, so we should make a special effort to see the positive. It’s there, you just have to look for it. One way to do this is to cultivate gratitude (see here a great trick for this). The other way is to seek out wisdom. See how other people have dealt with adversity and seen the good in life. Lastly, there is spirituality. Once you understand your spiritual dimension and the presence of God, your mental map will always have a bright path forward, no matter what you’re going through.

In this way, you can reinterpret life to increase your positivity and wellbeing by adjusting your mental map.

Check out my video on the subject here.

Perhaps one of the biggest barriers to self-improvement and self-realization is having the ability to implement change in our lives, or to create new habits. So, how can we implement new habits, implement change in our lives?

We tend to rely solely on our willpower, but that’s not always enough. Different people have different levels of willpower. Some have the power to command themselves, while others struggle with the smallest of requirements for change. Even worse, studies show that willpower is a very limited resource. If you use willpower for any one thing, you deplete it for anything else, no matter how different they may be. For example, if you had to use willpower to get yourself out of bed and go to the gym or meditate, then you’ll have less willpower later to push yourself, say, to choose a healthy lunch and skip the dessert.

The conclusion is that we should not depend on willpower because we just don’t have enough of it to guarantee success. Instead, we should depend on habit. Habit requires no willpower. That’s the danger and the beauty of it. It’s automatic. It’s business as usual and your energy flows into your habits just as easily as water flows down rivers.

In this video, I give two scientifically proven techniques for implementing change. The first is a technique to help convince yourself of the need for the change. The second is a practical life-hack for giving that change a chance to stick and become a habit. Try it and see!

The inevitable adversities of life often come in the form of someone else’s action. From accidently stepping on your toes to outright brutal physical aggression, people will do things to you, directly or indirectly, that you do not like. So, how should we respond to this?

The low-consciousness response to this is to get angry, get revenge, or cultivate some form of hatred toward the agent of your adversity. But this response just amplifies your suffering. Responding to hatred with hatred perpetuates the hatred. Even externally, this will bring more adversity to your life in the form of negative consequences of your hatred. For example, if your neighbor dumps trash on your yard and then you dump trash on his yard, he will get angry and come up with another way to annoy you. Then you will get angry for that and come up with another way to get him back, and it will never end. We see this going on in the Middle East: violence being met with violence, which then causes more violence – a cycle of increasing violence. The result is hell on earth with no end in sight. Gang warfare follows the same twisted pattern. Everyone loses.

On one level we need justice and to preserve our well-being. If someone commits a crime or hurts you, steps should be taken. If it’s serious, civil authorities might get involved. And you should try to take practical steps to prevent the incident from recurring. On the surface, you should do what has to be done to keep yourself and others out of harm’s way.

But inside, you have to adopt a different attitude. Whatever happened was meant to happen. It’s your new challenge. You should not waste time with lamentation or anger, much less feeling like a victim. You should simply accept the event, be grateful for the challenge, trust that it’s for your growth and ultimate benefit, and deal with it in high consciousness, acting in karma-yoga. You should choose not to suffer, but instead to seek enlightenment.

Check out my video on the subject here.

Just as our bodies need shelter to stay healthy, so too our inner selves need a refuge for restoration and growth.  We need to create an inner space and refuge to where we can and should retreat to once every day, if not several times a day.  Here are 5 tips on how to do this.

1. Silence and solitude: find a place to be alone and in silence. This is a special moment of the day, have some quality time with yourself.
2. Total honesty: this inner space must be one of total honesty. Be honest with yourself. Face your fears. Hear your doubts.
3. Inner peace: get a feel for your inner peace, what’s blocking it, what’s facilitating it. Get a feel for what’s giving you anxiety and why it’s giving you anxiety. What’s making you feel in harmony, what’s blocking it.
4. Soul time: evaluate your connection. How connected are you to yourself? How connected are you to God. How much of your life is based on connection and service, and how much is trivial and superficial?
5. Personalize the experience: you may want to create an image of your inner space, or a smell, or other sensation. You may want to do some deep breathing to go with it. You may want to start with a mantra or prayer. Adjust the experience to make your inner space and refuge as secure and welcoming as possible.

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of this practice. There can be no self-improvement or self-realization without directing your attention to your inner self.

Check out my video on the subject for more on this.

Is there divine justice? Apparently not, given that over and over again we see bad things happening to good people. But is there more to be seen? Is there a deeper truth to be uncovered? Or are we to resign ourselves to an unjust, meaningless existence?

The ancient yoga tradition claims there is perfect divine justice, in what has come to be known as the Law of Karma. The idea is that bad things only happen because we not only deserve them, but need the experience in order to grow and overcome our character flaws.

People sometimes get angry when the law of karma is explained, thinking that this deep explanation discourages compassion and removes the guilt of those who commit evil deeds. In anger of the evil committed to an apparently innocent victim, people ignore the simple divine perfection of the law of karma: you get what you give. Those who commit evil, will be punished and will be given a chance to overcome their evil tendencies. But will this happen right away? In a month? A year? In this lifetime? Justice will be served, but other factors may delay it. Otherwise, how could we experience free will? If evil deeds were immediately punished, instantaneously, then not only would we not really have a chance to practice our free will, but the very basis of material life – the possibility to ignore God and pretend He doesn’t exist – would be nullified.

So, no, divine justice cannot always come in an instant – but it will come. And more than just justice, there will be a chance to learn and grow even before justice is served. The final goal of the Law of Karma is to help us all perfect the dharmic (moral) quality of our choices and actions.

Today’s “good person”, or “innocent victim” is yesterday’s wrongdoer. We should feel compassion for all those who experience pain and evil and fight to prevent it. But when we are the so-called victims, then we should look inside and see if we are really so innocent, so good, as to not deserve any pain and suffering.  Are we so pure of thought and deed as to claim we deserve or need any suffering to learn and be better?

Check out my video on the subject to learn more!

You’ve heard of post-traumatic stress disorder but probably haven’t heard about post-traumatic growth.

The old adage, “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, apparently has truth behind it. Studies have shown that people are able to not only deal with trauma, but actually come out of it better than before.

This is an image going viral online. In it there are 12 dots, but we just can’t see them all at the same time. As our eyes hover here and there, different dots show, obscuring the others one we just saw a moment ago.

It’s a cool optical illusion, but what does this teach us on a much deeper level?

It teaches a simple and life-changing reality: we naturally absorb only a part of reality. Our mind has a filter and not all of reality will be shown to us. According to the mindset we develop – and the key word here is develop – we will see in reality those things which are aligned with our views.

Research shows that once we feel there is no solution, we literally won’t see the opportunities right in front us. This is sometimes called by psychologists “the Tetris effect” after research showed that people start seeing blocks and shapes in real life after prolonged Tetris play. Our brain rewires itself to be good at what we’re focusing on. In another example studied by researchers, people who have jobs which require them to focus on finding mistakes (tax auditors and lawyers, for example), then they’ll develop a fault-finding mentality which will pervade their life as whole, often causing unhappiness, increased levels of stress and strained personal relationships.

But the same effect can be used to make our life better. By training our minds to look for the positive, we gradually start seeing the positive things in life. As we see more positive things, naturally our spirits lift, and see even more positive things. We can train our mind to do this through meditation, keeping a gratitude journal and by learning to absorb good moments in our day-to-day life.

Check out my video on this!

Probably the simplest scientifically proven life hack is keeping a gratitude journal. Just write down, every day, three things you’re grateful for in the last 24 hours. After a few days, you’ll do it in less than 60 seconds. It’s so simple, yet so powerful, that it’s just plain hard to believe.