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Here’s an essential advice to be happy: don’t compare yourself to others. Especially, don’t compare yourself to other people’s best version of themselves on social media. So, what standard should we use to judge ourselves? Here I’ll explain these points.

Strangely, we like to hurt ourselves. We like to trash our self-esteem, severely criticize ourselves and, in general, find ways to make us feel bad. It’s bizarre, but everyone does it or has done at some point. Some people do it all the time.

One way to hurt yourself, which is common and damaging, is to compare yourself to others.

Externally speaking, anything we have – any ability, any aspect of our body, career, relationships and everything else – can be measured in comparison with another, in a depreciative manner.

It doesn’t matter who you are, it’s certain that someone else has a better body, better hair, a fatter bank account, a better car, more fame, more confidence, more charm… and so forth. Even among spiritual types you get this, where people compare themselves with others to see who meditates better, chants kirtan better, knows the sacred texts better, are more devoted to God or are closer to the guru. It’s nuts!

Worse of all, these days we compare ourselves to the very best version of others, carefully crafted and manipulated on social media. It’s not enough that the other person is better looking, we want to compare our tired version in front of the bathroom mirror with that person’s photoshopped picture, with just the right angle, light and smile. We want to compare a difficult day at the office, with someone’s romanticized and highly edited version of their vacation. It’s a painful illusion.

We are all unique individuals. Each one of us has his gifts and his challenges. Each has his story. It’s impossible to compare. There is no use, and it doesn’t help.

It’s self-torture to compare yourself to others. Don’t let your mind slide into this mode of thinking. With your power of self-observation and self-command, stop your mind from doing this.

Comparison is natural, however. So, let’s choose a healthy standard for comparing ourselves: let’s compare ourselves, to the very best version of ourselves! When you act, ask yourself: “is this the best I can do? Am I showing the world the best version of myself?” This works and this is useful! Strive to be the best person you can be. You have to want it because it takes strength of will, grit, and determination to do so. The result is awesome though: you’ll feel great and you’ll make the most of your life.

The world doesn’t need you to be like anyone else. It just needs the best version of yourself.

In the book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), you’ll learn just how you can be the best version of yourself, untapping your full mental, emotional and spiritual potential.

Watch my video on this topic here.

 

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “I’m reading and re-reading it. Your book is very precious” – Roberto Vargas

Do you have a hard time starting good things in your life and sticking to them? Do you fail to take care of yourself? Do you often find yourself in situations in which you’re unhappy? Maybe the problem is lack of self-love. We have to learn to love ourselves, as an essential part of the path of self-improvement and self-realization. But how do we do this?

You’re running around working hard, taking care of others, with so many plans and goals. But where are you in all of this? Did you forget yourself?

It may seem like a positive thing to say that you don’t think of yourself, that you only think of the well-being of others. But, in reality, it doesn’t really work like this. After all, if you’re not well, how much can you really help others? And in many cases, this disregard from your own self translates into a type of self-sabotage, in which everything in your life goes wrong.

Because of this, spiritualists and therapists conclude that it’s necessary to develop self-love. Learn to love yourself fully so you can be yourself fully. In doing that you can maximize your potential to love and serve others. But what does it mean to love yourself? How can you develop self-love?

One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Saint Mother Theresa: “The fruit of prayer is love. The fruit of love is service”. We can reverse this sequence: service leads to love, which leads to spirituality. So, to learn to love yourself, you need to serve yourself.

How do demonstrate love? What does it mean to serve someone? It means doing things for that person, seeing how best to increase their physical well-being and overall joy. To develop self-love, then, do the same – for yourself!

Start taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. For your body, eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. Stop hurting your body with cigarettes, booze, drugs and carcinogenic foods, such as meat. For your mind, develop a program for inner peace, take care of your emotions and free yourself from the opinion of others. And for your spirit, take seriously to the path of self-realization, with a daily program for advancement, with meditation, prayer and so forth.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself presents. Have “you” time in your busy schedule, doing things you like to do. Even Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita that you can’t be a yogi if you don’t have leisure and recreation. Value your well-being in the knowledge that the world needs you strong and well, so that you can perform your duties to the best of your abilities.

Our great spiritual master, Swami Prabhupada, would remind us that if a ship goes down at sea, first you must make sure you’re not drowning before you can help others from drowning. If you’re drowning, you can’t help anyone else. When we’re not well, we not only cannot help others, we end up being a burden. If you don’t love yourself, you will likely bring strife and pain to those around you too.

In the book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), you’ll find hundreds of suggestions and time-tested techniques for taking great care of your body, mind, and spirit. As you develop love for yourself, you’ll be able to love others and, finally, love God.

Watch my video on this topic here.

 

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “The 3T Path is magnificent, objective, accessible and extremely didactic” – Clóvis Melo

Learn how to say “no”. This can change your life. We have to learn that it’s important to not accept everything others ask us to do, and to say no in a positive manner, that won’t cause you problems. Here I’ll explain the “positive no” technique and why it’s important.

Saying “no” is important because we’re limited. Saying “no” allows us to say “yes” to those things that are important to us, those things that’ll fulfill our purpose.

You have a purpose and you must live your dharma. In the book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), I explain in detail the concept of dharma how this is an essential component of a great life as well as your self-realization. Your dharma is your essence. To live your dharma means to fulfill your purpose, to be you. It’s your essence in action.

You must, therefore, act within your dharma. If you accept a task that’s outside your dharma, you are violating yourself, and failing to do something that was a part of you. This is why it’s essential to say “no” to get a “yes”.

The researcher William Ury, co-founder of the Program of Negotiation at Harvard University, developed the concept of the positive no. The “no”, he says, that’ll take you to a “yes”. After all, if somebody asks us for something, they’re opening themselves up to us. This opening, this call for help, should not be ignored or mistreated. The “no” should be delivered in such a way that you don’t create ill-will or hurt. It should be an enlightened “no”, based on reason. You’re not saying “no” out of spite or laziness, but because you sincerely and truly have another more important use of your time and energy.

The positive “no” works like this:

1. You value the person and what they’re trying to accomplish. When someone is asking you for help, understand what it is they want and what they’re trying to accomplish. Express your appreciation of what they’re trying to do. Make it real, from the heart. This, by itself, will brighten that person’s day.
2. Value your own actions and purpose. Explain what it is you’re doing and how it’s important as an expression of who you are. Sometimes people just ask you to do things because they don’t care about you and know nothing about what you’re doing. They might be seeing you only as a means to facilitate their goals. This is where you enlighten the person as to your purpose and actions.
3. Because you have your goals, you explain that you’re busy and cannot assume the task they asked of you. The fact that you’re busy in your purpose explains why you cannot drop that and take up someone else’s work, or be part of some other project. You already have something to do, so you cannot do something else as well. It’s logical, not personal. It’s not a slight or an offense. It’s just the facts of life.
4. Close it with a “yes”. Having explained that you cannot do what the person asked, you can find out how you can help in some other way, that’s within the boundaries of your dharma. Maybe you find someone who can do what they wanted, or you can give a suggestion and point them in the right direction. Show you care and that you want to support the person.

Helping others is great. We want to serve and be useful. We want to see others happy. But we must do this within our dharma, according to our nature and within the confines imposed by reality. The positive no will give you the technique these often delicate moments of being firm, but without seeming harsh and uncaring. It’ll help you stay on track of your objectives while still preserving your relationships.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “a fantastic and very revealing book” – Pedro Rodrigues

 

Research shows most of our happiness depends on our relationships. For most us, the most impacting relationship is that of our significant other, marriage or life partner, however you want to phrase it. Here are two things you need to check about someone to make sure they’re the right person for a loving conjugal relationship.

There’s a great piece of wisdom to be taken from relationship guru, Jane Austen. She says we need to look for two things in our potential life partner: esteem and gratitude. Let’s take a closer look at these two and why this is such great advice.

Esteem is in the sense of seeing something in the other person that impresses you. Something you look up to as a great quality or ability. For some it might be particular strength, such as intelligence or leadership, or it might be a quality, such as compassion and kindness. For others it might be a particular gift of musicality, athleticism or dancing skills. Ideally, of course, a combination of qualities and abilities.

If you’re going to dedicate a portion of your every day to someone, that someone better have something you want to invest in, something you want to be a part of, even if only in a supporting role. By being aligned with your significant other’s purpose, you too derive satisfaction and meaning by being by his or her side. The time and dedication you give that person, is your way of participating in that purpose, which you also value.

Having esteem for someone, however, is not enough. For a relationship to hold, it must be a two-way street. Here, the second thing to look for comes in: gratitude.

Gratitude means that your potential spouse is doing something for you, something you can be grateful for. That person’s qualities and abilities must directly impact your life in a positive way. You have to see in what way does the existence of that person make your life better.

Notice here the focus is internal. “Cute” is not going to last. You can’t hold someone in high esteem just because they have nice hair or a nice body, and you certainly shouldn’t do it just because they currently have a nice job and money. These things come and go and a relationship started on such fickle grounds comes to a ruinous end in a short time. The internal stuff, qualities and abilities, last potentially a person’s entire life. Even athleticism and dancing graces last into old age in the form of specialized knowledge and passion for that field, which can inspire and be passed on to others.

So, there you go, just two things to analyze before tying the knot: esteem and gratitude. Brilliant stuff from Jane Austen.

In the book “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/) I devote a section of the book to the theme of inner peace, with a focus on dealing with your emotions in a positive and healthy manner as a key component to your well-being.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Yours,

Giridhari Das

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “Quite an achievement.” – Joshua M. Greene (Yogesvara Das), author, researcher and lecturer

Life is no walk in the park. And what bothers us the most is experiencing negative emotions, such as sadness, shame and frustration. It hurts, doesn’t it? So, how to deal with it? Here we’ll see a practical and efficient technique, with scientific confirmation, to minimize this pain.

We have two ways to deal with negative emotions. The first I emphasize in my videos and my book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/): change how you deal with life, change your focus and more and more you won’t even have a reason to become hurt. This requires a profound change in how you go about your life, which I call a paradigm change – a change from the fantasy paradigm to the reality paradigm. To understand how to do this requires dedication and is better understood by reading the book. The second way is to know how to deal with the negative emotion when it comes up. This is what we’ll explain here.

Joan Rosenberg, PhD, a researcher in the field of psychology, created a system to solve this problem, which I’ll summarize here.

What are negative emotions? She proposes we have eight which dominate our lives: 1) sadness, 2) shame, 3) helplessness, 4) anger, 5) vulnerability, 6) embarrassment, 7) disappointment and 8) frustration.

Pretty bad, huh? Or not? Here’s a interesting point: why do we consider these negative emotions to be bad? Is the emotion itself bad, or is the feeling you get that is bad? Emotions are just that, emotions. They’re a thought. Something that only exists in your head. So, what’s bad about these negative emotions? The physiological reactions they generate! We don’t usually stop and think about this, but here’s a great insight: what’s unpleasant is the physical sensation generated by the negative emotion. What bothers us is the chemical changes and the changes in our digestive, respiratory and cardiological systems.

The first step Dr. Rosenberg recommends is the same I emphasize in the 3T Path: mindfulness. Be present. Don’t be afraid of the negative emotion. Don’t try to mentally run away from it. Stay there, ride it out, fully conscious of it, fully present. Don’t be a victim of the situation, be an observer.

In many cases, from the negative emotion you’ll take strength and learning to rise to new heights. Many people testify that negative emotions, traumatic situations, were the trigger for their greatest achievements. The famous self-help guru, Tony Robbins, often cites his abusive alcoholic mother as an essential force that drove him to dedicate himself to helping others and attain fantastic success and satisfaction. Victims of crimes and other forms of abuse use their trauma to build systems to protect and help others from the same violence, making the world a better place. In psychology, the term used for this is “post-traumatic growth”. Here’s a video I did on this topic a while back:

The second step is waiting 90 seconds. What? Yes, that’s right! It takes approximately 90 seconds for the physiological reactions to run their course. You don’t need so much patience or self-control. It’s only 90 seconds. Why not just repeat in your head the Hare Krishna mantra while you wait, asking Krishna to help quickly absorb the lesson to be taken from the experience? Breathe deep, relax and observe. Soon the whole experience blows off. Life goes on. Everything is fine.

Try it out yourself. The next time you feel a negative emotion rising, don’t back down, don’t cower away from it, and don’t get stressed. Stay present. Observe the physiological reactions. Wait 90 seconds, and watch your body return to its normal state. Reestablish your balance.

Now bring your focus to the solution, in the form of a constructive reaction to the situation aligned with your dharma, in divine consciousness. Learn from the situation. Create the habit of always getting something good from unpleasant things that happens to you. Immediately after a bad experience, seek out ways in which that will make you wiser, stronger and more focused.  Use the negative energy to propel you to become greater.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Yours,

Giridhari Das

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “This book is incredible! It really changed my life and will change yours too.”

There are two important terms in the path of yoga: dharma and karma. Many times I’m asked: “What’s the relationship between these two terms?” Here I’ll explain in simple terms the meaning of each, how they are connected and why this knowledge will help you live better.

Karma in Sanskrit means “action.” The law of karma is thus the law of action. Beyond the Newtonian law of action and reaction governing the physical world, the law of action and reaction also affects the experience of embodied souls. Karma should be understood as one of the laws of nature, acting on the metaphysical plane.

Dharma is a rich concept, and the word has many meanings, but my focus will be on dharma as that which needs to be done – essence and duty. Duty can be imposed; essence cannot. Dharma is thus that duty born of who you truly are, of your nature. It’s not an external or social imposition. It’s what you need to do at any given moment to be the best person you can be. It’s doing the right thing at the right time. Being dharmic is more than just doing good or avoiding hurtful or violent behavior, though that is certainly included in the concept, and it can’t be boiled down to a list of don’ts or things to be avoided. Dharma is fluid and alive and sensitive to different aspects of your life. Major changes to your dharma can occur from one second to the next. One way to understand dharma is to rephrase the classic line: “Don’t ask what the world can do for you, but ask what you can do for the world.”

The law of karma is an educational system built into nature, designed to help the embodied soul improve its moral, or dharmic, behavior. Every action you perform has a moral quality to it. Was it the right action? Was it within your dharma to be doing it? If so, did you do it with attention, with care? Did you do your best? If so, then you generated an appropriately positive result. If not, then you get an appropriately negative result. The law of karma puts a mirror in front of you. You get what you give. Or as the Bible says, you reap what you sow.

The reactions produced from our actions come in the form of objects, facts, and situations in life. Everything in your life now – your DNA to your social status, bank account, job situation, neighborhood, planet, health, and everything you own – is the result of your past activities. At every moment, the entire configuration of external reality in your life is a karmic reaction. The only exception is divine intervention. The more you develop your spirituality, and especially your devotion to God, the more your karma may be adjusted by God to suit your spiritual elevation. It’s like getting a presidential or royal pardon. You were tried and found guilty, but the ruling power of the country pardons your crime. Or to give an even better example, if you become a star pupil, then the school may take special interest in your education and adjust your syllabus to help you develop your full capabilities.

Thus, dharma shows you what should be done. Karma, in the sense of the Law of Karma, is the reaction you get according to how “dharmic” your action was. The closer to your dharma, the better the material reaction, the better will be the karma you accumulate. The further from your dharma, the worse the reaction, the worse will be the karma you accumulate.

A yogi, however, doesn’t want any kind of karma. Karma keeps us bound to birth and death, stuck in the material world. Yoga, in its primary application, is a technique for overcoming and eliminating your karma, once and for all, and with that attaining liberation.

So, the yogi will follow his or her dharma, but now as offering to God, with no desire for future reward. This technique is the basis of Krishna’s teachings to Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita and is called karma-yoga. There are three key aspects to transform a mundane action into a transcendental action in karma-yoga: 1) be in harmony with your dharma, 2) do the action as offering to God, for His ultimate satisfaction and 3) be in the here and now, without desiring future results from your action. With this you won’t accumulate any karma in the act and gradually you’ll become liberated from material existence.

In the book The 3T Path – Self-improvement and Self-realization in Yoga, available here: https://3tpath.com/books/, you’ll get a much more in depth understanding of dharma, karma, God and how to put it all together in the practice of karma-yoga.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Yours,

Giridhari Das

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “Excellent roadmap for the Bhakti path. This book has a neat and clear step-by-step process for one to engage in authentic Bhakti Yoga. The practical, organized, and simplified format was a welcome contrast to some books which are too complex for beginners.” – Billy Kubina Jr.

Do you hate your job? A lot of people do. So, what can you do about it? Here I’ll present a two-step approach to shedding some light on resolving this important problem.

According to research published on Forbes Magazine, an astounding 70% of people hate their jobs. That’s nuts. There’s something seriously wrong with this picture and it has a to do with how we relate to our work, not the work itself. Like I say, it’s the how, not the what, that really matters in almost every situation.

First Step: Adjust Your Mindset

How to adjust your mindset in relation to your work? Two key words to keep in mind: meaning and impact.

First, try to find meaning in your work. What about your work allows you to express your nature, or to use the language of yoga and the 3T Path, your dharma? How is your work helping you be your true self? What natural inclinations and inner motivations are you realizing through your work? Try to see in what way your work is connected to who you are and how doing your work allows you to express a part, hopefully a significant part, of your nature. In the book The 3T Path – Self-improvement and Self-realization in Yoga, available here: https://3tpath.com/books/, you’ll find a whole section on understanding your purpose and your dharma which is sure to help you in this regard.

Another way to look at this is to analyze what positive impact your work has in the world. The more specific you can be, the better. Research shows that when you focus on the individual persons you’re helping, to the point of seeing their faces, that’s the most effective way to find meaning in your work.

Maybe you sell sofas. It’s great coming home from work and relaxing on a sofa. People need sofas. Instead of focusing on the status and financial benefits of selling sofas, focus on the pleasure and satisfaction people will have in coming home to a sofa you’ve sold.

Maybe you’re a street sweeper. We definitely need clean streets. Keeping streets clean has a huge impact on the well-being of every citizen. A street sweeper has an important job with significant positive impact on the lives of thousands and thousands of people.

Even if you work in a big company, and you’re feeling like you’re just a little cog in a big machine, you can still see the value of your work. Machines fall apart if its parts don’t work. A clock won’t work without all its cogs in place. Find the value of your action in the overall effect the company has on other people, and find the value your work directly has on well-being of your colleagues, in helping them do their work.

Lastly, you may be holding a job just to pay your bills while you finish college or wait for your big break in the music and film industry. In this case, focus on the importance of that job in giving you this opportunity to reach the expression of your deeper nature, your true vocation. Be grateful and value that job for being a bridge or a facilitator of your true nature.

Second Step: Rethink Your Life

If you’ve seriously considered all the above and still cannot find meaning or satisfaction in your work, then it’s time for a serious rethink of your life. What the heck happened? How did things go so wrong that you ended up in this situation? Because it’s crazy to spend the largest part of your day in something that does not express your essence and in which you cannot find any meaning. Why are you busy doing something that is not having a positive impact on others?

Living like this will suck the energy and joy from your life. It’s an offense to yourself. You have to come up with an exit plan. Maybe you have to go back to college, maybe you have to downsize seriously or move to another city or country. It’s going to take courage and it’s going to hurt, but it’ll be well worth it. It’s like pulling a decayed tooth out. It hurts, but there is no question of leaving it in.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Yours,

Giridhari Das

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “The 3T Path is a must read. Just by reading it, your life will become better and happier!” –  David Roberts (Mahavira Das), Senior Vice President – Bixolon/Samsung

Aside from the pathologically confident types, we all second-guess to some degree. But you might be suffering from second guessing too much, to the point that you feel your life is going nowhere, you’re limiting your actions and tripping over your tongue.  Here I’ll suggest ways to understand and overcome this situation.

Second guessing is defined as questioning a decision or action already taken. Only a twisted person would never question his or her decisions and actions. In trying to become a better person, the very first step is to practice self-observation and critical thinking. We must certainly question our current way of life, our habits, our goals in order to make sure they’re really the best we can do, the most aligned with our essence and the most beneficial overall. So, to some degree, second guessing yourself is healthy and highly desired.

However, too much second guessing will make your life miserable. You can second guess yourself to the point of near paralysis, and complete lack of self-confidence.  You can get so worried about what you say, that you end up not saying what you want, or even need to say. You can be so unsure of your decisions that you end up not making any serious decisions and thus blocking your chances of really living your life.

If this is your case or if you just feel you’re overly concerned about what you say and do, here are some pointers that may help you out:

1. Dharma: take the time to learn who you are. Dharma means essence and duty. Dharma is the action that is born out a part of who you are. Dharma means living out your purpose, in the different aspects of your being: vocational, personal, relationships, community, spiritual, etc. In the book, “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/), I explain in detail how you can understand your dharma and why this is so important for your well-being. Once you understand your dharma, you’ll always know what you should do. It’ll be as clear to you as driving down a highway.
2. Do you best. Cultivate the mood of wanting to do your best, because that defines the quality of your life. If you go through life acting below your potential, you’ll naturally feel frustrated and disappointed. It’s not about the results or the trophies you collect. It’s about knowing you did your best. You don’t need to listen to other people’s opinion or be overly concerned with other kinds of feedback. You know the difference. You know very well when you were acting in the sincere desire to do good, to do your best as opposed to when you’re acting with selfishness and a negative or destructive mindset.
3. Yes, you’ll make mistakes. Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita that every action has mistakes, just as every fire has smoke. So, don’t be hard on yourself, and PLEASE, don’t expect perfection, ever. Accept this fact and you can loosen up a lot.
4. Don’t focus on the result. This is a key element in general. Focus on the action, on the here and now. Bring your mind to just doing your best, according to your dharma, here and now.
5. If you’ve activated your bhakti, your loving connection to God, cultivate the spirit of doing everything as an offering to God. This will help take the excessive attention from yourself and what other’s think of you.
6. Let life flow. Learn to feel the flow of life. Life is happening and pieces are moving, way beyond your control or input. Feel that and flow with it. By doing your dharma, and doing it as well as you can, your contribution is already valuable, no matter what other’s think or what impact you think you’re having on the world.

By learning to be yourself and to be in touch with your purpose, you’ll naturally become free of the excessive worry of what other’s think about what you say and do. Being focused on your true self naturally gives you confidence and freedom from fear.

Watch my video on this topic here.

 

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “I’m Reading The 3T Path and it’s a balm to the soul. Simple, direct language, yet soft, like a refreshing summer breeze in the evening. I recommend the reading and the experience, I’m loving it!” – Catarina Bezerra

Life is a sea of troubles and naturally the wise person seeks to end all suffering. That state of zero suffering is called nirvana in Eastern Buddhist and yoga traditions. But what happens then? Unknown to most, the focus of the Krishna yoga tradition is to go beyond nirvana. Here I’ll explain this fascinating concept.

Nirvana means “blowing out,” extinguishing anything that was causing a disturbance in your consciousness, ending all suffering. Sure, sign me up for it! Every sane person should seek this. No combination of material things, people and situations will ever bring you peace and joy. We’re hounded by problems, always. And then we die. A real bummer. So, the smart move is to seek a solution beyond matter, beyond merely adjusting external things in your life. This is the starting point of your spiritual quest.

Anyone who takes their spiritual lives seriously experiences amazing results. It really works, and it’s been working since forever. And it works everywhere. There are many different paths, but, in the beginning, the similarities abound and the results are the same. Awed by these results, few practitioners question what, if anything, is to happen after all troubles have ceased.

Yoga tradition, specifically the Krishna-bhakti tradition, much older than Buddhism and certainly much older than the religions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, spoke of a goal beyond Nirvana, and gave details of it, too.

And the issue is not just academic. It has real life implications, right here and now. Knowing better what the end-game is, allows you to understand better the path to spiritual success and to make more sense of life.

The core issue is understanding your real nature. Who are you, really? Beyond all the mistakes, beyond illusion, beyond death itself… who are you? In fact, what is the nature of the underlying spiritual reality?

Krishna teaches that we are eternal persons. You can see how your entire existence is personal. And it’s not all a big mistake. Sure, you become emotionally hurt, and your hurt others emotionally, but the solution does not lie and giving up emotions completely. What would that even entail? No joy, no love, no personal interaction? Yikes!

Some spiritual paths propose this annihilation of your personal and individual existence. They claim your entire concept of self is misguided. You don’t exist, they say. You’re just energy. And so is God, who also doesn’t really exist. Only existence exists, you just are. And everything else is a giant mistake. You are only a mind flux, brahman, light… the terms vary, the concept is the same. In the end, you’ll merge into the sum total of existence. No more troubles!

But also no more anything! Hold your horses! This is the biggest case ever of throwing away the baby with the bathwater. Life isn’t that bad. Certainly, we can salvage the good stuff.

In the yoga tradition, the end goal is to purify your personal and individual existence, not erase it. After all, thinking and feeling are not the problem. Dancing, eating, painting, talking, swimming and kissing are not the problem. It’s doing those things in the wrong mentality, and even worse, stuck in a decaying material body, that’s the problem. So, yoga proposes we clean up our act, learning to (again) be pure loving persons, free from the constraints of a dying body and dead matter as a background for our activities.

By giving up hurtful behavior, such as desiring external outcomes, instead of focusing on acting according to your best nature right here and now, and being selfish instead of loving, we gain an increasingly better experience of life even before nirvana. By understanding that the problem is not having emotions and thoughts, but the quality of them, we can embrace the best of life as we progress towards spiritual perfection.

Better yet, by understanding our eternal personal nature, we can understand the root cause of all existence also must have a personal nature. Thus, we come to understand the personal nature and transcendental form of God, and the infinitely loving relationship that we can derive from that.

Beyond nirvana is prema – beautiful spiritual love, centered on but not exclusive to the supreme person, God. This is why yoga values bhakti (devotion) as the highest and most powerful practice of yoga, and why there is such great bliss to be experienced right now by activating bhakti.

In the book “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/) there is a thorough explanation of bhakti, prema and the personal concept of God, as well as a brief presentation of Krishna, to explain what lies beyond nirvana and how this affects your life here and now.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “I loved the book. A wonderful experience!!!” – Elton Orvate

Research shows your mind ranges from two mental extremes, which give you a radically different experience in terms of well-being and behavior. Here I’ll present these two extremes and suggest how to use this knowledge to improve your life.

One mental extreme is what is known as your defensive state. This is your animal brain having fully taken over command of your thinking and actions. Adrenaline is coursing through your veins. Heart-rate and blood pressure are up. Your amygdala is running the show and, because of that, it has bypassed your cortex, the part of your brain that does rational thinking. At the highest levels of defensiveness, you basically become a beast, scared and angry. I call this our dragon state. This may sound exciting, but it’s very unpleasant.

This state of mind is useful to save your life in situations of real imminent danger. The milliseconds your cortex needs to think about things could get you killed, so the amygdala takes over. If you’re running away from a flood or trying to survive an attack by a vicious animal, this is great. Not so great, however, if you’re just trying to deal with family and coworkers, traffic or something else equally non-life-threatening.

The other extreme is exploratory. In this mode, you’re engaged in something that greatly interests you. You’re absorbed in doing, studying and experiencing something to such a degree, your whole self is one with the here and now. In its purest form, this is known as the state of flow, where decisions and thoughts occur with lightning speed, with apparently no deliberation. The sensation experienced is one of joy, intense vitality and connection. I call this the angel state, where you’re more than a mere human. In this state, you’re operating at your very best, flowing with life and expressing your inner self brilliantly.

We’re very sensitive. Any perceived threat pushes us towards the dragon state. Even seeing someone’s grumpy face from a distance moves you towards defensiveness, even if the person is not looking at you. Thoughts are processed as reality by your brain. Feeling anxious about future events, fear of unpleasant outcomes or even reliving a bad experience are interpreted by your brain as actual events in the here and now, and thus trigger you towards your dragon state. You can see why we spend so much of our lives in a bad mood. We’re freaking ourselves out, though subtly, often unconsciously, all the time. And if we let our emotions take control, then we can go all out dragon in a fit of rage, over the silliest things, such as bickering over the choice of a restaurant with our spouses or in dealing with your teenager’s latest test of your limits.

Knowing this constant shifting of the mind, between dragon and angel, we can begin to assume control of our life experience. Here are three practical steps to achieve this:

• Engage constantly in self-observation. Be aware of your mind. Practice mindfulness of your own state of being and of your emotions. Be aware of your thoughts. This is a key habit to develop to live a better life and one that’s increasingly more emphasized by psychologists and gurus alike.
• Pacify your mind. As soon as you feel yourself uselessly drifting towards your dragon state, in anxiety of some future result, in lamentation of an unhappy memory, stop the downward slide. Do this by breathing deeply and calmly and bringing your mind to the here and now. Return to reality at hand, right now. Not the version of reality full of doubts and uncertainties your mind is freaking you out with, but with reality in the moment, happening around you. In short, practice mindfulness. If things are getting really agitated, then you’re entering the dangerous level of having your amygdala take over – full dragon mode. You have to take immediate action while you still have a little control of your cortex. The amygdala will shut down in response to slow steady breathing and the relaxing of the muscles and your mind will move towards your angel state again. Be aware and stop the dragon from rising before it’s too late. Check out this video on anger to understand better this process.
• Seek out your angel state. Do this by finding joy and meaning in everything you do. This is possible by becoming attuned to your dharma, your essence, and putting that into action. When you’re focused on living who you really are, you are taking your mind to the angel state. The more you can focus on living your essence, the closer you approach the perfection of the angel state. Full focus means being in the zone, blissfully absorbed in life.

In the book “The 3T Path” (https://3tpath.com/books/) I explain in much greater detail how to practice mindfulness and how to live and understand your dharma.

Watch my video on this topic here.

Look what they’re saying about The 3T Path book: “The 3T Pat is a book that connects yoga wisdom with your day-to-day, with practical tools and examples of how to keep your mind healthy, focused on the here and now.” – Taila Roncon